I wish I could touch…..
I wish I could touch you. Touch you once more. Feel the warmth on your skin.
That day. As you lay in the ICU. Covered . From head to toe. Shrouded , I should say. In that Solapuri Chaadar.
They told me you had passed away. Breathed your last.
I had never had anybody die on me. Till that day.
I didn’t experience any emotion when they told me. Just the words.. they kept ringing in my year. “HE is no more. “
I slid open the door . To the ICU. I didn’t believe them. I slid the sheet off your face. You were sleeping. No peaceful expression on your face. You looked just like you slept at home - breathing laboriously, the exertion showing on your face. It showed now.
I touched your forehead. Just like I used to touch you each morning. Each afternoon. Each evening. Every hour of the day. For the fever. To feel you breathe. To feel you live.
Now , as my hand touched your forehead, I feel the warmth still. Not the warm warmth. But the kind which is ebbing.
I touch your face. To feel your breath.
I touch your chest. To feel the crackling spluttering breathing.
It is silent in the ICU. It is cold in the ICU.
As are you. Silent and cold.
I wish I could touch ..... touch you once more. Feel you live. Once more.