26th april
I think of you everyday.

I loved you then.

You made no commitments.
I had hoped you would.

It mattered,
that you were by my side.

You cared .
I could feel it,
could sense it.

Why didn't you just love me instead?

I gave my heart to u.

I have no cause for complaint.
No regrets either.

That you had to leave,
saddened me then,
broke me then.

But you gave me a new strength,
a new realisation.

Being with you,
I learnt to trust.

Being with you,
I learnt to share....
thoughts ,
feelings.

I shared
my dreams and desires.

I shared a piece of me.

Being with you,
I learnt ,
that sometimes,
it is not perfection,
but the little imperfections
that are loveable.

Being with you,
I came in touch
with a me,
I did not know existed.

Being with you,
I learnt that
that not only was
i capable of much love...
you made me realise that
i was worthy of love,
deserving of much love,

You left.

It did hurt.
I carried the pain
for quite a while.

The feeling of loss,
of emptiness,
of a time without you...
that took some getting used to.

I think, it began there....
this thirst
and the hunger,
for approval.
This bothersome feeling
of incompleteness...
of inadequacy..........

You chose another.

The rejection hurt as much as  the abandonment