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Tuesday, July 16, 2013

"Pyaar mujhe iss mod pe le aayaaaaaaa."

 12 june 2013

As a young girl, I lived a pretty sheltered life. The parents were always around to take care of things.

Gradually they goaded me into taking over small chores. Mum encouraged me to join her on her visits to the vegetable market, grocer, post ofiice and banks . Gradually I learnt to do these by myself. I stumbled. I made mistakes. Brought back the wrong grain, a wilting veggie, have come back without signed acknowledgements.... but I learnt.

As a new bride, living in a nuclear set up, I was quite independent and eager to play the role of the ardhangini by shouldering any household responsibility.

The spouse, in the throes of lovu and affection was always eager to lighten any burden. Was always around like a cavalier

Electricity Bill ? arrey I will get it settled.

Banking ? bass sign karo... it will be done

Applications to be written? I will take care of it.

I gave in. Gladly, i must add.

Over the years, this became the standard affair. nothing changed. well ...something did change.

Soon it was me listing out things and chores for him to get done. This, this and this..... get it done.

some more years ... and now things have further changed.

Go do it yourself, is what i get to hear

Am i offended? YES of course. Hey... You  were the one who have been doing it all these years. .You were the one who offered to take over....

Do I resent this?... Yes, but only for a while. I realise I have to pitch in. Pitching in, not as in just doing my share of chores, but learning the ropes. Once again. I have to know for myself how things move. I have to bring myself outside my cloistered existence once more. get over my fears, insecuritues and complexes. face my demons. I understand what he is trying to do.

I was writing a letter to the bank today. and spent a couple of seconds debating whether I should end it with a Yours faithfully or Yours sincerely. Didnt want to use either. One seemed very school bookish and the other  had a pleading undertone. Couldn't think of the right option or anything better so P decided I would end it at a 'Thanking you'.

Then I  realised that if the better half gets to see this he wouldn't let go the opportunity of wagging a "I told u so" finger at me.

So to simplify matters, I called him up and asked him . As expected he burst out laughing. He told me what to do.

I was cursing myself for my stupidity , foolishness and ignorance.

How did I let this come to be. how could i withdraw so much. be so dependent. how could i burden him with so much. i was embarassed at my helplessness. angry at my helplessness . angry with him too. and not just for laughing at me.

and the typical wife in me blamed the husband. it was he who had indulged me. cushioned me from the bumps and knocks of life. . lavished a bit too much of care.

it has been a perfect case of "Pyaar mujhe iss mod pe le aayaaaaaaa."

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