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Sunday, July 21, 2013

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN !





What do you want to be? What is your passion? Find it . Follow it. These are sentences I hear most frequently whenever we - mothers of our 15 year olds, meet outside their school on most days.

We have a common concern. Will our children be able to take that crucial decision? Of what their goals are, of making the right decisions in trying to achieve it? And most importantly , are they equipped to make the right decision? How are the going to arrive at it? Is it going to be one which is dictated by their heart and mind or they going to be influenced by the choices their friends are making. Or worse…. are their decisions being based on what they think we parents expect of them?

We are concerned mothers there at the school. Trying to zero in on careers the children would like to take up.. and trying to help the child brace himself and arm himself so that he can tread that path suceesssfully.
The problem begins when the goal is unclear. It is difficult for a 15 year old to set one.

Parents these days are softer on the child, which is how it should be. Trying to empathise with him as he fights his way through the confusion. Hold his hand as he bravely trudges through the quagmire.

Selecting the streams after the SSC, setting a course , gliding across it. Zeroing in on your calling in life. Deciding or stumbling upon it – what is it you want to be… NOT EASY. Not easy at all.

What is the the one thing that helps you to arrive at this decision.? Are you going to go in for options which they think are lucrative ? what we used to phrase as “iss line mein scope bahut hai” is the scope for the paypacket or for personal betterment.

Doing that which is after your heart. Not all can afford the luxury. So then, will the dreams and passion remain in the background to mourn over at a later date

I used to be quite flummoxed and yet appreciative when I used to hear about people returning to their studies in their late 30’s or 40’s . realsing the need to make a switch . follow their hearts calling.

I am anxious that the daughter has not been able to tell me what she really wants. And I realize I still do not know what i want  either.    what Is my calling?  The mind is a disturbed one. 
A little late to be thinking on these lines .  but it hurts all the same.
Education , for me has always been  very important . It was a sort of a benchmark. Success for me was about the  degrees in the kitty. I even tended to judge a person by that.

but now,  when I am  44, I want  to think about my likes, my preferences, my dreams… . All that is about me .

Age and experience wisen one.  Now it is no longer about that certificate. It is more about learning. Learning that which I was and am passionate about. Learning that, which even remotely interests

The pressures to succeed aren’t there.  not the conventional ones. The pressures of the scorecard isn’t there.

Yeah there is that tiny fear.. am I wasting my time. Is this really relevant? What am I going to achieve at the end of it? Will I be able to complete what I am beginning? There are no pressures to go through it… so will I take the easy route and prefer to opt out when the going gets tough? and importantly - Is this THE ONE.

Well I wouldn’t know until n unless I make the effort to find out. To atleast try it out. I want to give myself a chance . Several chances.  Not too late yet, to embark on that search.  Not   much to loose


The family is encouraging. They encourage me to get over my fear of failure – that which weighs on the heart and the mind. The son who once said - "you don’t need to prove yourself," and at another time had said - "study that which is worth your while ".... is now spouting sentences like” do what you really like”.


Kya pataa, I might eventually find my calling. Atleast I can die peacefully knowing I tried!
 One sorrow less .

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